‘Sup.
As I was reflecting on my first post I couldn’t help but notice a startling statistic: I used the word “hate” 9 times. I’ll admit, that’s excessive. I also feel great remorse, and the need to right my wrong.
I have compiled a list of things that I “love”, to compensate for my previous hatred. You’ll notice that I have the word “love” surrounded by floating equal signs, rotated 90 degrees clockwise. (Some quotation marks are curved, but mine, for whatever reason, are straight – and thus resemble equal signs)
I put “love” in this context because this isn’t an agape love. I wouldn’t sacrifice my life for the things on this list. This list describes things for which I have a very conditional, selfish love. Our culture throws out the word “love” too much, and I hate that. (I’m digressing into exactly what I was trying to avoid)
Here’s your caveat: these things aren’t necessarily my favorite. I don’t look forward to them everyday. Maybe this list would be better titled, “Things I value higher than other people, that I consider underrated, and that you probably think are weird”, but then you wouldn’t have clicked on it. But you’re here now, so thanks.
Things I “love” –
Getting into a hot car
Waking up super thirsty in the night
When two car doors shut simultaneously
When people lipsync songs in public
Wet spaghetti
“Unwritten” by Natasha Bettingfield
Pajama shorts
Biscuits
Gift shops
When kids sing on songs
When janitors know what key to use on the huge keychain they have
Marsh brand iced sugar cookies
Tackle boxes
Male accapella groups
Eavesdropping on intelligent conversations
The smell after vacuuming carpet
New jars of peanut butter
Racquet balls
Sunflower seeds (in shell)
Tracking packages
The smell of rice bags
When older people call me “buddy”
Sitting on carpet floors
Beef jerky
Chewing gum for 5+ hours
Chips and salsa
Slightly burnt pepperoni
Rye chips in chex mix
Ice in orange juice
Sara Bareilles
People giving blank stares
Surveys
Squishy caulk in between cracks
Women over 40 in pastel colored pants
Puttputt courses
Diagonally mowed lawns
Neighborhoods with gradually sloping smooth curved curbs
The first three minutes of Dubble Bubble
When people yawn and talk
White rice
Men’s dress shirts with a different colored collar
Rearranging furniture
When the last clue on Jeopardy is the daily double, and the previous questioned wasn’t answered correctly, so someone just gets it handed to them
Rinsing off a hot skillet
When you have the perfect portion of Ketchup
Grilled cheese
Sweet tea
Secret compartments
Crane games
When people hold coffee mugs with two hands
Aquariums
Next – maybe a hate list? We’ll see.
